PSA: Don't Masturbate in Public

So I'm not talking about the actual act of masturbation, you know the thing everyone does, I'm talking about the act of mental masturbation, you know what I mean, the wanker going on about his latest project, that's basically public masturbation.

Here's why I'm sick of it, I was reading reviews about the movie Inglorious Bastards, pretty good movie apart from the fact like all Tarantino movies it's basically a feature length jerk off fest about other movies he considers classic.

It's just limited to the man whose name is really hard to spell either, it comes in many forms, just as the Twilight novels which are another form of masturbation material, only rather then keeping it private like normal decent people, it was published.

Oh and then there are games like the 50 cent (and who the fuck names rappers?) Blood on the Sands games, but don't even get me started on them.

Now that I think about it, lumping Tarantino in with "Fiffy" and the Sparklepire is pretty fucking harsh, so Tarantino I'm sorry man, really, you at least have talent, just keep it in your pants, now back to the topic at hand.

Every review I'd read about Inglorious Bastards goes on about the references and nods to other films, but none of them see it as a bad thing, why the fuck not?

It's not part of the narrative, it detracts from the story, personally I don't give a shit about film history, I don't hate it, or people who care it, I'm interested in a lot of weird shit other people don't get (such as spending three hours reading up on Damascus steel based on a throw away line in a trashy war novel), but when you're making something for mass consumption keep the fan-boy geekyness toned the fuck down.

I'm not saying dumb down the product, but few people will even notice the little "wink wink nudge nudge" jokes in there, and those that aren't fan-boys themselves will just get pissed off, the same way we do when someone mentions the cake is a lie in a non sarcastic manner.

And that's that for my sleep deprived rant of the day.


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