Early Retirement

A Maryland woman lost her accounting job after a background check performed through the FBI’s criminal database indicated, erroneously, that she was unsuitable for the job, according to the Baltimore Sun.

Eschol Amelia “Amy” Studnitz had been working for Corporate Mailing Services since August 2008 as a senior accountant.


Well congratulations Amy, looks like you've just won an early retirement, I'm betting you've got lawyers lined up around the block begging you to hire them and from what I'm reading you've got a rock solid case against the FBI and you're old employer.

Personally I wouldn't of sued myself if I'd of got my job back, but since they screwed you, SUE THEM TO HELL AND BACK!

I feel bad for her, really I do, but I also find it kind of funny really in a "hah some big company / government agency is going to get owned" kind of way, though given the way the legal system works she'll either have to take an out of court settlement or live hard for a year or two while it's worked out in the courts.

It's yet another example of why the legal system needs an overhaul, limits placed on the number of lawyers/assistants/etc each side can have, and limits on the time they can take. Cases should take weeks at most, not years.

5 simple rules when choosing a victim as a Socially Responsible Sociopath

Well this one of my own videos, let me know what you think!

85 per cent support voluntary euthanasia

A new survey shows support for voluntary euthanasia is on the rise in Australia.

The Newspoll of 1,200 people indicated 87 per cent support in New South Wales, which is up 12 per cent on 2007 results.

I'm a bit of a contradiction on this issue, I'm a huge fan of personal choice, but I don't know if I could make that choice myself, I think so long as there is life there is hope, I'd like to think I would keep fighting until the very end, kicking Death in the nads with my last breath.

So as far as the law goes I'm in favour of it, personal choice is king.

Incidentally that's also my view on abortion, I stay out of the debate because I'm male and thus it's not really my choice, as it's not my body, and until such time as they make it possible for another option, I'll stay out of it.

Though I will say I fucking hate how men are portrayed in popular media (TV/Movies/Etc) regarding it, some bint drops a huge bomb shell on the guy and then gets pissed he doesn't know what they should do after 30 seconds, when she's had days/weeks to get use to the idea. Then he's the bad guy for not wanting to make a choice, because the smart guy knows he's fucked either way, suggest abortion/adoption he's a heartless bastard, suggest marriage and he's a clingy twat, walk away and he's a deadbeat. There is no way the poor guy can win.

Ladies you've got our support, but Jesus don't put it all on us, it takes two to tango, if you want our input fine, if you don't also fine, but don't give us the... oh fucking wow I'm really off-topic here.

Okay in closing, personal choice is king, just because the law says it's okay to do something doesn't mean you have too do it if it's against your personal lifeview.

Michael Jackson is dead... get over it.

Okay let me start off by saying yes I laughed at jokes about him over the years, but if you claim not too have done the same you're either a saint or (far more likely) a liar.

I liked some of his music, the early stuff, I feel vaguely (I didn't know him personally so I'm not going to claim some deep sadness like some dicks out there) sorry for his kids and family, just like any decent person does when someone dies, but honestly, do we need to see yet another news report about him?

He was a big name in the entertainment world, so I put up with the first few days of coverage, but after they buried him I expected them to calm the fuck down about it. But months have dragged on with them still bleeting on about it.

I even know some people who at the news thought "damn that's sad" who got angry about it all after a few days of non-stop wall to wall coverage, they were just plain pissed off about it and couldn't stand hearing any more about him. They turned off the TV in disgust, closed the browser window in anger, etc. That's when you know you've gone too far.

Come-on people... It's not news any more. It's gone far beyond tribute and reporting into exploitation. Just let it go.

Blacklists don't work, try a whitelist

Every now and then you hear about some dude with a bee in his bonnet screaming "Wont somebody think of the children!!oneoneone!!!" and wanting to ban different websites using blacklists.

Okay cool, I personally have no problems with blacklists so long as they are opt-in, but you know what? They don't fucking work. Getting around a blacklist is piss easy, and new websites pop up all the time, so maintaining a blacklist is a horrible time and money sink.

Here's the fix, something a bunch of us came up with on Whirlpool years ago, and it was hardly original, it was just spit balling a way to offer a good service to schools and parents, sit down 30 representative members of whatever group you want to make the list for, and tell them to go wild on the internet, every time they find a website they don't object too, it gets added to a list.

Now take that list, write some software that prevents visiting anything outside that list, or hell just use the function built into browsers (easy as piss to get around, but most people are fuckwits), and bingo, you've got a reasonably safe internet for your kiddies.

Well until they work out how to get around it.

The government could even take it a step farther and make a central repository of these lists for parents, Muslim friend content only, Christian friendly only, etc personally I think anyone using one of those lists is a twit, but hey personal freedom is great, do what you will.

Trying to regulate the internet is like pissing into the wind, messy and very ineffective. Better to go with regulating people who want to be regulated.

Random Irks

You know what irks me today? Reading someone seriously write "male stewardesses" in a sentence...

The word is steward you fucking dip-shits, and while we're on the subject, why the move to "flight attendant", sure it's accurate, but what was wrong with steward and stewardess? We don't call women "men without testicles" we call them women! What's wrong with gender pronouns?

I don't get it, it's not like when you read about "flight attendants" in the news or wherever they don't tack on male or female in front of it... so they might as well just stuck with steward and stewardess.

And that's my irk of the day.

British PM tweets bickie of choice...

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown has finally crumbled and revealed his answer to one of the nation's most pressing questions – what is his favourite biscuit.

The PM was repeatedly asked to name his favourite bickie during a live online question and answer session with hundreds of mothers on the Mumsnet website last week.

Conservative leader David Cameron and Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg had both answered the same question first time, with oatcakes and Rich Tea biscuits top of their lists.

And this is why the internet is perhaps the stupidest way to communicate with "ordinary" people.

They asked him that retarded question 8 freaking times. After the third time I personally would have told them to bog off and come back when they thought up something relevant to ask.

And then he obviously got smacked around by his PR team and was forced to go back and post an answer.

Of all the questions you could think to ask the leader of your nation... you ask him what his favourite biscuit is? What utter stupidity.

That would be like going back in time, having exactly one question to ask of Einstein and asking him "so dude what's with the hair?"

(Most) Prostitution is RAPE

Okay so last night unable to sleep due to a massive fit of coughing up my lungs I logged onto the cesspit that is IRC, I jumped into a random channel, in this case #politics on fuck... I forget the server.

Anyway there was a debate in progress about the legalising prostitution and after a rip roaring debate lasting a few hours I gave up in a fit of rage and logged off.

You see I just couldn't get a lot of the people claiming prostitution is a "victimless crime" to understand prostitution is basically rape in a lot, and I'd personally the majority, of cases (not that I can back up the majority part, I don't have numbers).

Okay here's a question, man attacks, holds down, and has sex with a woman against her will, clear cut rape right? (If you said no you're a dirty scumbag that I hope meets his end shortly)

Now, take the same man, same women, only now the man has a gun, unless the woman has sex with him he'll shoot her, is it rape? Yes!

The same thing is done a lot in prostitution, the woman (or man, it does happen to men, but I'll just keep using the female pronoun rather then he/she) in question has a choice between a) having sex with a stranger or b) getting the crap kicked out of her by her pimp or c) going hungry or having her family go hungry.

It's still a form of coercion, just not as overt as the gun metaphor. And that's not even taking into account the women sold into mother-fucking slavery in some countries out there.

Having sex with a prostitute is more then likely (I'd say something like 99 times out of 100) rape in today's world.

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are prostitutes out there that are willing and not forced into it, by either a 3rd party or economic problems, and more power too them, their body do with it what they will. But those men and women are the vast vast vast minority.

Contrary to what you might think after what you've read above, I'm actually in favour of legalising prostitution, after all criminalising it hasn't been effective at shutting it down, there is a demand so a black market has risen to fill the demand, however in order for legalisation to be an effective solution you need to regulate the hell out of it, placing protection for the prostitutes as the highest priority and cracking down unmercifully on pimps (one of the lowest forms of scum around, just above paedophiles on my personal ladder of people who need to die a horrible death).

Incidentally the same approach would work well on illicit narcotics. Let's face it, there is a reason they call prostitution the "World's oldest profession", it's been around forever and not going anywhere, the only way to make things better is to regulate it.

Think it over people.

Scale Matters

So I was watching the new season of Sanctuary (pretty good show btw) tonight and it got me thinking about why I like the show's look even when the production values aren't that high, for me I think it comes down to my catch phrase of immersion.

Sanctuary uses a lot of file footage and artist renderings for outdoor shots to give the feeling they are in a huge city or an exotic local, even when the set is obviously on a lot some where. It just helps me keep into the show.

Also I think it helps when they use realistic travel times when they aren't zapping around via teleport.

Then you've got shows like last year's Legend of the Seeker, I really really wanted to like the show, it had a pretty decent story, so-so acting, but the fact that it kept shattering immersion just broke it for me.

I call it the Hercules / Xena problem, yea okay we know one town in whateverland 200 BC looked the same as another, but it's hard to imagine a town with a dozen wood huts is actually a town worth defending/attacking.

But here's the thing, you could have those same shots, same wood huts, spend a few hundred dollars on an artists time and do an over-view of the same town, only expanded so that it actually looked like a fucking town.

It doesn't have be ground breaking CGI, just a plain old painting works perfectly to give the world a sense of scale, then fade in to the actors on the wood hut street.

Massive GM: advertising makes games better, when done right

Whenever there is a story written about ads in video games, gamers come out in droves to condemn the practice. They won't buy games with ads in them, they say. It's a terrible practice, we hear. Ars Technica caught up with the JJ Richards, GM of Massive, Microsoft's in-game advertising firm. His message: ads in games can enhance the experience, not hurt it

I'd have to say I agree with him, oh sure there have been games with advertisements in them that I'd totally detested, such as Anarchy Online, where it ruined the immersion totally for me, it's 20 thousand plus years in the future and I'm seeing an ad for a movie due out in a few months? Come off it.

But there have been games that have done it perfectly, my best example would be Saints Row 2, it has in-game ads on billboards that are actually based on real ads, and if anything they add to the game environment much more then any fake ad could, especially since they are region specific with ads that people in Australia/Victoria will recognise instantly such as the "If you drink and drive you're a bloody idiot" and other TAC slogans.

On the whole the whole in-game advertisements in that game were very suited to the environment where they were placed. I think it's a good sign that people like this guy recognise that gamers and tech users in general are fickle bastards (speaking for myself here as well) and that they, the advertisers, need to run the fine line between good ads and annoying ads that we take note of just so we can avoid the product out of spite.

I know I've done that in the past, purposely avoided a product because the ad campaign was so fucking annoying and intrusive.

I don't have any moral objection to ads in game I purchased if it fits in with the overall feel of the game, but heaven help you if you break my immersion with some shitty jeans ad, I'll cut your balls off and feed them too you.

Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize

US President Barack Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize for giving the world 'hope for a better future' with his work for peace and calls to reduce the global stockpile of nuclear weapons.

The Norwegian Nobel Committee praised Mr Obama for "his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples".


Okay before anyone starts calling me Anti-American or racist I'd just like to say to those people, fuck off and die a slow death you morons, you can disagree with someone without hating them.

Onto the rant, it was my understanding that the Nobel prizes were given for accomplishments and not to hate on the guy, but he hasn't accomplished anything yet, he's made some pretty major promises that I personally think are awesome-sauce and made some moves towards things that make the future look less like the shit-hole it was even a year ago, but he hasn't actually done anything yet.

It seems to me like they are jumping on the "Whoa first black American president, better kiss up or we'll be called racist" bandwagon.

Oh and before anyone jumps on the "he's getting rid of nukes! it even passed the UN!" thing, let me be clear, nukes aren't that big of a deal anymore, they've been slowly getting rid of them for decades now, disposing of those evil things is a lot harder then making the damn things.

Frankly the fact the US/France/England/Russia have them doesn't worry me too much... okay Russia's internal security based on my limited understanding scares the fuck out of me, but the major powers having nukes over-all isn't that much of a worry, they've had them for decades and not used them, it's the nutjobs like India and Pakistan (fine countries and peoples) having them that worry me, and the really nutso fuckwits like North Korea and Iran looking at making them scares the shit out of me.

And I don't see NK/Iran coming to the table, they don't see the danger in nukes, only "ohh big boy toys!" appeal.

I'm trying to remember who said "I don't loose sleep over the man who wants a hundred nuclear weapons, I worry about the man who only wants one" I think it was in a movie, and it sums up the problem perfectly.

Anyway I've gotten way the fuck off topic here, back to the point, I think Obama is doing good and has the promise to do a lot more good, but honestly he's not really ready to be given such a high honour, maybe in a few years, but not right now.

Edit: Seems I'm not the only one, but the Wall Street Journal are a bunch of smary pricks who need to tone it the fuck down.

TV is TV

You know what I hate? The line "This isn't a TV show" or it's variants on a fucking TV show or Movie. It's just retarded.

I'm sure the first time someone wrote it down it was mildly funny, but you know what? In jokes aren't funny to those of us that aren't in on it and memes are even less funny.

Besides not being funny, they break immersion.

You know immersion that thing that's suppose to keep us from questioning why the dude in the funny hat is kicking the ass of the super-powered bad guy or why there is sound in a fucking space battle (other then it makes it cooler) or the fact that super model chick is married to a guy that makes me look like Fabio by comparison.

It's gotta be like at least one of the top 3 rules of writing, "Thou Shalt Not Fucking Break the Fourth Wall"

Okay felling better now.

PWNT: Somali pirates attack military flagship

Somali pirates attempted to storm the French navy's 18,000 tonne Indian Ocean fleet flagship after mistaking it for a cargo vessel, the military have said.

The crew of La Somme, a 160-metre command vessel and fuel tanker, easily saw off the brazen night-time assault by lightly armed fighters on two open-topped motorboats and captured five pirates, a spokesman said.

"The pirates, who because of the darkness took the French ship for a commercial vessel, were on board two vessels and opened fire with Kalashnikovs," Admiral Christophe Prazuck said.


I don't think I have really anything to add other then the words of the great Nelson Muntz "Ha

Evolution is a theory

Okay so I'm fucking sick to death of you fucking wack jobs, both lots of you, the intelligent design fucktards and the evolution is science so it's inconvertible moronic donkey fuckers.

Okay so I personally think evolution is the closest we've got to a real answer about how life came about (I also believe in god, shocking I know, but science by definition should be challenged and examined otherwise it's just fucking dogma. You know that shit you hate on religious folks for?

Evolution is a theory, it says right there in the fucking name, The Theory of Evolution you morons.

Now as I said above it makes sense and there is some proof that it takes place, that doesn't mean you should accept it as pure gospel truth (and the funny at using that phrase here is obvious to me thank you), science is about expanding the limits of our knowledge, until such time as there is incontrovertible proof one way or the other, or a better theory, I'm going to tell you morons to shut the fuck up, you're getting as bad as the bible bashers who think God put dinosaur bones in the ground to confuse us.

We're like small children as a race, we've just hit that point where we know just enough to understand just how much we don't know, so stop being so dogmatic and use the squishy pink stuff between your ears.

If God Had...

Okay so every now and then I'll be reading about something new and exciting in the world of science or medicine and when I get to the comments section of the article there is always some douche bag saying "if god had meant us...".

Okay just clear up a point I believe in god, but I'm not overly religious, my faith in god doesn't need a book or a dude in a funny robe to exist, I can see why some people take comfort in it, but personally I think too many people take the dogma and leave the message, but that's a rant for another day.

Back onto topic, God doesn't want us living in mud fucking huts you morons. God gave us our minds, our curiosity, to explode his wonderful world and universe.

My personal opinion is that everything we discover and learn about was put there by god, science is the way we can understand this wonderful creation of God's will. Yes there is more to the world then just what we can see, but that's the whole point, for everything we learn we still only grasp a fraction of the truly majestic wonder that is this universe.

If God made it so chemicals made in a certain way cure cancer, he wants us to find it and use it.

I view God as a loving parent that wants us as people and a race to grow, to understand, to embrace the majesty of his creation.

Oh and also I believe in evolution, I think it makes sense that God the all knowing and all powerful simply touched over the proverbial pebble that started the avalanche. After all if you know all the variables you can know exactly what will happen if you set off an event.

So in short, stop being so fucking dogmatic you morons and try and us that mind God gave you.

Breaking News: Space is Fucking Big

So I've been thinking about this for a while, you know how one of the more common themes in sci-fi is a big fucking asteroid or comet slamming into earth killing everyone? It's fucking bullshit.

Not that shit doesn't hit the earth all the time, and really really big shit has hit the earth in the past, and well big shit going really fast does a lot of damage (kinetic impact is the fancy way of saying it), no that's not my issue, my issue is how they always "solve" the problem of something really fucking big flying at the earth.

Rock the size of a small country coming at us like a rabid monkey and the first reaction is "err lets blow that shit up with nukes!" it never works, of course fucking not, you can't vaporise something that fucking big and even if you did break it up, you'd go from having one huge ass rock to having lots of fairly big rocks. Even if most of them burn up in the atmosphere you've still got things the size of houses falling on cities with an explosive impact measured in fucking megatons.

So they always move onto some cop-out bullshit sci-fi Dues-Ex plot twist, when in actual fact, nukes would work just fine.

Now you're thinking "Hang on Bunyip you just said it's patently stupid", and I did, but vaporising isn't my goal, you see space is fucking huge, so huge in fact that the human mind (apart from a few really fucking smart people) can't comprehend it, kind of like Will Shatner's ego, and our solar system is full of rocks and shit, and big stuff rarely hits us.

The reason for this is the earth is always moving, so it's two lines having to intersect at the same time in order to do any damage, now as anyone with any grasp of reality will tell you, the farther away the two objects are the less change they need to make in order to avoid hitting each other.

Example, two cars coming at each other head on, now if they see each over 200-300 meters away, they only have to make a slight correction to avoid running into each other, at 20 meters they need to swerve like a mother fucker.

The same can be said for things in space, only more so, a few nukes aimed at the right spot using math worked out by people much smarter then me at a rock far enough away can nudge the big ass thing far enough off course that it will miss us by millions of kilometres.

So in short, Hollywood sci-fi is stupid, I'm cranky and tired and wanted to rant about something.

PSA: Don't Masturbate in Public

So I'm not talking about the actual act of masturbation, you know the thing everyone does, I'm talking about the act of mental masturbation, you know what I mean, the wanker going on about his latest project, that's basically public masturbation.

Here's why I'm sick of it, I was reading reviews about the movie Inglorious Bastards, pretty good movie apart from the fact like all Tarantino movies it's basically a feature length jerk off fest about other movies he considers classic.

It's just limited to the man whose name is really hard to spell either, it comes in many forms, just as the Twilight novels which are another form of masturbation material, only rather then keeping it private like normal decent people, it was published.

Oh and then there are games like the 50 cent (and who the fuck names rappers?) Blood on the Sands games, but don't even get me started on them.

Now that I think about it, lumping Tarantino in with "Fiffy" and the Sparklepire is pretty fucking harsh, so Tarantino I'm sorry man, really, you at least have talent, just keep it in your pants, now back to the topic at hand.

Every review I'd read about Inglorious Bastards goes on about the references and nods to other films, but none of them see it as a bad thing, why the fuck not?

It's not part of the narrative, it detracts from the story, personally I don't give a shit about film history, I don't hate it, or people who care it, I'm interested in a lot of weird shit other people don't get (such as spending three hours reading up on Damascus steel based on a throw away line in a trashy war novel), but when you're making something for mass consumption keep the fan-boy geekyness toned the fuck down.

I'm not saying dumb down the product, but few people will even notice the little "wink wink nudge nudge" jokes in there, and those that aren't fan-boys themselves will just get pissed off, the same way we do when someone mentions the cake is a lie in a non sarcastic manner.

And that's that for my sleep deprived rant of the day.

Youtube, Finding Gold in Elephant Shit

So, I was bored and couldn't sleep, so what did I do? I went on the Internet looking for something to laugh at. Big mistake.

Why was it a mistake? I looked on Youtube.

For every Yahtzee, Spill.com, MovieBob, and their ilk you have close to a million retarded monkeys talking softly into crackly mics while looking intently into their WebCams.

Seriously, there is nothing said in those videos that couldn't be better said in writing, I don't need to see your face or hear your voice to empathise with your opinions and frustrations, in fact the opposite is true, chances are I'll find you so annoying that I'll disagree with you on general principle.

If you're going to label something a humorous rant against something or other, at least make it funny and put some fucking effort into it you turd gobblers.

If you're "reviewing" something, how about instead of staring into your web cam for 5 god-damn painful minutes you try actually showing some footage of it, it's not like you can't find any-fucking-thing online and there is freeware video editing software out there by the bucket full.

Before you say the words "they'll sue me", they can't, it's called fair use a clause in most copy right laws the world over, or if you're plain just shitting on something, the parody protection, and hey generally unless you're one of the big named guys no-one gives a shit about you anyway.

Oh and also? Saying something sucks, even if I agree it does, just because you don't like it is patently fucking stupid, if you think something sucks at least try and articulate why you don't like it.

I can give you a fifty point list on why most main stream "musicians" should be shot into the sun, the most people on youtube can come up with for the most part is "ghay"

JK Rolling Snubbed By Bush

LONDON - Former US President George Bush’s advisers believed that JK Rowling’s books “encouraged witchcraft” and thus deprived the author from a top US honour, reveals a new book.

The book, titled ‘Speechless: Tales of a White House Survivor’-written by Matt Latimer, an ex-speechwriter for Bush-has revealed that the Scots-based Harry Potter author was nominated for a Presidential Medal of Freedom.

But White House officials raised an objection against the move, saying that she promoted sorcery in her boy wizard series, which has been made into smash-hit movies starring Daniel Radcliffe.

Thus they stopped Rowling from receiving the US’s top gong for civilians who contribute to America, world peace or culture, reports The Sun.


So was bush the president of America or of some back water Affraican nation that changes it name every other week? Becuase honestly looking at his years in office it's kind of hard to tell.